I read a tweet this morning by Ralph Marston that said: "You were born to be real, not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone else's life". I realized that I had this very epiphany a few months back.
As I reflect back on the past year, well, the past FEW years, I can honestly say that being my true, real SELF was often avoided out of fear of not pleasing someone. Don't get me wrong, I can be real enough at times and let myself "shine through", but being 100% true to myself and my wants, desires and needs took a back seat to people pleasing. Not always those who are close to me. But people who I needed to interact with on a daily basis. But I thank God for being released from that bondage!
As soon as I realized that I could only be truly content and real at all times with complete transparency is when the blinders were removed and I recognized the error of my ways. The first step towards transformation is renewing your mind. Changing your mindset and changing your thought patterns. Transformation has to begin within. And if we cannot find the inner strength to be real and live our own lives, then we will certainly live in complete utter darkness.
"Every thang ain't for everybody." And that will be a motto I will have to hold near and dear as I embark in new ventures and new opportunities in 2011. Everyone will not understand. But, my life is not their life. We were all given a destiny. A unique, divinely appointed destiny that is as individually different as the hairs on our heads.
So whatever hopes, dreams or visions you have, are yours. Run with them. Share them. Show them off. Who cares what anybody else thinks. You are here to be you, not to live someone else's life. There is nothing more beautiful than knowing your worth. Sometimes you have to be your own #1!
AJoy ~ Blessings
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
You Grow Girl!
So here we are, minutes into 2011 and I am reading tweets and watching my husband snore at the other end of the couch. I have not written in a while, but felt that it was necessary to end the year with a word or two, or three...
A friend of mine posted something on her Facebook page a while ago and I was excited for her and replied, "you grow girl". Meaning, that is alright, keep doing what you are doing and keep moving in the direction of "UP". During this time, a few of us were in the preliminary stages of planning a women's conference. I had no idea that this phrase would become the title! But I really don't think there could have been a better fitting phrase.
You see. We have been through a lot since I became friends with this group of women in 1999. We have cried, laughed, married, divorced, partied, prayed, loved, graduated, given birth, over came sicknesses and buried loved ones. But during all of this, one thing remained true. We grew. We grew in knowledge, empowerment, love. We grew spiritually, intellectually, financially. We grew closer to some people and we grew apart from others. But, we grew. And that is so definitive when you look back and reflect on the year behind us. Growth is inevitable. We grow in length, width and circumference, we grow figuratively and literally.
But reflecting on the growth that I experienced the past 12 months, I can honestly say that I never anticipated I would be where I am right now. No, it may not be where I want to be. But my mindset is in a completely different place today, January 1, 2011 than it was January 1, 2010. I am bolder, wiser, better. I realize who I am and WHOSE I am. I have grown into my thoughts so to speak. My inner self, the person deep down who would come to life at night in my dreams has finally surfaced and is taking charge and center stage. And she couldn't have come at a better time. In 4 months, I will turn 40 years old and all I can say is WHAT TOOK SO LONG! But everything happens in God's timing. Everything has it's divine order.
I am so grateful for growth. The growth I have experienced this past year and the growth that I anticipate will happen over the next 12 months. I have warned my husband repeatedly that this will be a year of work. Now that I know my purpose, my passion and my path, it's time to water those seeds that have been planted so a "growth spurt" can take place.
"Whatever has been, has been and is finished. What is to be, is yours now to choose. " ~ Ralph Martson
So good bye 2010. Good riddance. I look forward to what Twenty-Eleven has in store for me. "You Grow Girl".
~Ajoy~GN & Happy New Year! ~The only way to grow is UP!
"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" ~ 2 Peter 3:18
A friend of mine posted something on her Facebook page a while ago and I was excited for her and replied, "you grow girl". Meaning, that is alright, keep doing what you are doing and keep moving in the direction of "UP". During this time, a few of us were in the preliminary stages of planning a women's conference. I had no idea that this phrase would become the title! But I really don't think there could have been a better fitting phrase.
You see. We have been through a lot since I became friends with this group of women in 1999. We have cried, laughed, married, divorced, partied, prayed, loved, graduated, given birth, over came sicknesses and buried loved ones. But during all of this, one thing remained true. We grew. We grew in knowledge, empowerment, love. We grew spiritually, intellectually, financially. We grew closer to some people and we grew apart from others. But, we grew. And that is so definitive when you look back and reflect on the year behind us. Growth is inevitable. We grow in length, width and circumference, we grow figuratively and literally.
But reflecting on the growth that I experienced the past 12 months, I can honestly say that I never anticipated I would be where I am right now. No, it may not be where I want to be. But my mindset is in a completely different place today, January 1, 2011 than it was January 1, 2010. I am bolder, wiser, better. I realize who I am and WHOSE I am. I have grown into my thoughts so to speak. My inner self, the person deep down who would come to life at night in my dreams has finally surfaced and is taking charge and center stage. And she couldn't have come at a better time. In 4 months, I will turn 40 years old and all I can say is WHAT TOOK SO LONG! But everything happens in God's timing. Everything has it's divine order.
I am so grateful for growth. The growth I have experienced this past year and the growth that I anticipate will happen over the next 12 months. I have warned my husband repeatedly that this will be a year of work. Now that I know my purpose, my passion and my path, it's time to water those seeds that have been planted so a "growth spurt" can take place.
"Whatever has been, has been and is finished. What is to be, is yours now to choose. " ~ Ralph Martson
So good bye 2010. Good riddance. I look forward to what Twenty-Eleven has in store for me. "You Grow Girl".
~Ajoy~GN & Happy New Year! ~The only way to grow is UP!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Look. Listen. Receive.
Opportunities come. And opportunities go. Sometimes we look at them, sometimes we pass on them, sometimes we ignore them. Often times, opportunities are windows and/or doors that God has opened for you. You just have to be in the right place, in the right mindset to receive that which is being revealed.
R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N is defined as the act of revealing something, disclosure, as of something not before realized. O-P-P-O-R-T-U-N-I-T-Y is defined as a favorable time or occasion. Hmmmmm...Revelation of an opportunity=disclosure at a favorable time. For many, that disclosure or revelation, may come at a time in their life where everything is wonderful, you are on top of the world and there is nothing that can bring you down. So this opportunity is viewed as, not so much as needed, but as just another way to leverage yourself and who you are. Other times, it comes when you are down and out, all the world seems to be against you, so why would you even give any thought to embarking on something you have absolutely no knowledge on? Both scenarios indicate a perfect time to take a chance. To stretch your growth potential. The only person holding you back is Y-O-U.
You see, we are our own worst enemy. It's not the family member who says you can't do it, it is that inner voice that we are so inclined to believe and listen to that dwells deep within that has not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Call it your voice of reason, your intuition, your conscious or whatever. Don't get me wrong, we all should take heed and be discerning. But don't use it as a scapegoat.
Advice, opportunities and/or wisdom comes in all shapes, sizes and even wears pantyhose from time to time. He can look like billy goat gruff, but I'll just bet, if you get past the exterior of him, he will spit some knowledge you probably aren't even ready to receive. She may look like she just slid off the stripper pole, but I guarantee you, she can quote a scripture that will have you thanking Jesus and running to the altar on Sunday morning. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Matthew 7:1 Angels are God's messengers and often times, deliverers of gifts directly from above.
Just because you knew Suzie when she had nothing, she was nothing, and did nothing, does not mean Suzie was not delivered. It does not mean Suzie was not promoted by a higher authority. Never look down upon someone because you think you know them. They may be the very ones that you need someday.
It takes a confident, honest person to realize they don't know everything. And to stop learning is to stop living. Some opportunities are a form of self-development with a compensation plan attached! Now how cool is that as a gift from above!
So walk in the power you posses and enrich your life and the lives of others you encounter. We all have something to say and we all have a testimony.
Look. Listen. Receive.
AJoy ~ GN
R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N is defined as the act of revealing something, disclosure, as of something not before realized. O-P-P-O-R-T-U-N-I-T-Y is defined as a favorable time or occasion. Hmmmmm...Revelation of an opportunity=disclosure at a favorable time. For many, that disclosure or revelation, may come at a time in their life where everything is wonderful, you are on top of the world and there is nothing that can bring you down. So this opportunity is viewed as, not so much as needed, but as just another way to leverage yourself and who you are. Other times, it comes when you are down and out, all the world seems to be against you, so why would you even give any thought to embarking on something you have absolutely no knowledge on? Both scenarios indicate a perfect time to take a chance. To stretch your growth potential. The only person holding you back is Y-O-U.
You see, we are our own worst enemy. It's not the family member who says you can't do it, it is that inner voice that we are so inclined to believe and listen to that dwells deep within that has not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Call it your voice of reason, your intuition, your conscious or whatever. Don't get me wrong, we all should take heed and be discerning. But don't use it as a scapegoat.
Advice, opportunities and/or wisdom comes in all shapes, sizes and even wears pantyhose from time to time. He can look like billy goat gruff, but I'll just bet, if you get past the exterior of him, he will spit some knowledge you probably aren't even ready to receive. She may look like she just slid off the stripper pole, but I guarantee you, she can quote a scripture that will have you thanking Jesus and running to the altar on Sunday morning. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Matthew 7:1 Angels are God's messengers and often times, deliverers of gifts directly from above.
Just because you knew Suzie when she had nothing, she was nothing, and did nothing, does not mean Suzie was not delivered. It does not mean Suzie was not promoted by a higher authority. Never look down upon someone because you think you know them. They may be the very ones that you need someday.
It takes a confident, honest person to realize they don't know everything. And to stop learning is to stop living. Some opportunities are a form of self-development with a compensation plan attached! Now how cool is that as a gift from above!
So walk in the power you posses and enrich your life and the lives of others you encounter. We all have something to say and we all have a testimony.
Look. Listen. Receive.
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Power of Prayer
1. Prayer produces humility
2. Prayer opens the heavens
3. Prayer cleanses you
4. Prayer promotes righteousness
5. Prayer changes things
6. Prayer births the invisible into the visible
7. Prayer brings empowerment
8. Prayer brings a refreshing
9. Prayer makes you sensitive
10. Prayer activates the gift in your life
Prayer is still powerful. No matter how big your situation, no matter how small. God still answers prayers. But what activates the prayer and gets God moving is your belief. God limits or even refuses to work in a person’s life when that person’s faith is weakened by doubt or unbelief (Mark 6:5) (James 1:6).
Jesus taught, "…I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matthew 17:20). Prayers are from the heart. There is no magic formula. There is no road map for prayer. It is a conversation with your Heavenly Father. But the way it works is having the belief that it will be answered.
Pray for someone else. It's not always about you! Recently, a very dear friend was put on a ventilator and family and friends were told that it may be switched off this week. Prayer requests were sent out immediately. Saturday morning, this same friend, opened her eyes and is responding by blinking! She recognizes faces and voices! Now if that is not a true testament to the power of prayer, I don't know what is.
Don't give up on God, because He will NEVER give up on YOU!
Click to Listen ~ God is Able!
Peace & Blessing ~AJOY~
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Somebody ALMOST walked off wid all of my STUFF!
As I think back to the movie that premiered recently, "For Colored Girls", I realize that each of those women had some characteristic that I could relate to. As many of us did. If, however, you have been blessed beyond reasoning to have never experienced pain, hurt or betrayal, then kudos to you. That is not my testimony.
For me, the realization that I had, in fact, overcome these trials came to surface when I read, and reread Ntozake Shange's poem, "Somebody Almost Walked Off Wid All My Stuff". (Excerpt -Alfre Woodard) The operative word being ALMOST. I was that black woman with the attitude not caring what anybody thought about me...or did I? I was that black woman who was so hard core that I vowed to never give my heart away for fear of being hurt...again...or did I? I was that black woman who was betrayed and bamboozled to the point of no return...or was I? I could easily still be searching for my "stuff". My self esteem, my self confidence, my "pretty girl swag". I realize that I do have all of my stuff. And it is all safely displayed on my arm like badges of honor. I have all of my scars, all of my confidence, all of my pride, all of my morals, my chipped nails and flea bitten legs. It's all mine and no one can ever take that away from me!
But why is it that we have to go through so much to realize our worth? Or should I say be reminded of our worth. As little girls, some of us were blessed to have fathers, grandfathers, uncles, mothers, grandmothers or aunts who consistently told us how worthy we were. How did we lose sight of that? Why would we let someone, another human being, have that much power over us? Our journey's in life are all different, but the lessons are basically the same. God makes no mistakes. Every little hiccup in your life, every little blip, mishap, misfortune or tragedy has been divinely ordered. It is how you come through it that justifies the means. We all know the scripture, God will never give you more than you can bare. And that holds true for every situation in your life. But if you lay down and just let life happen and continue to allow stuff to be taken from you, then somebody is going to walk off with it and never return it.
Take your life back, take your joy back, your self confidence, self esteem and peace of mind. Go out and make life happen instead of waiting for it to happen for you. It's a new season, and it's a new day and I'm going to another level, won't you join me??
Get your PRETTY GIRL ROCK on...
For me, the realization that I had, in fact, overcome these trials came to surface when I read, and reread Ntozake Shange's poem, "Somebody Almost Walked Off Wid All My Stuff". (Excerpt -Alfre Woodard) The operative word being ALMOST. I was that black woman with the attitude not caring what anybody thought about me...or did I? I was that black woman who was so hard core that I vowed to never give my heart away for fear of being hurt...again...or did I? I was that black woman who was betrayed and bamboozled to the point of no return...or was I? I could easily still be searching for my "stuff". My self esteem, my self confidence, my "pretty girl swag". I realize that I do have all of my stuff. And it is all safely displayed on my arm like badges of honor. I have all of my scars, all of my confidence, all of my pride, all of my morals, my chipped nails and flea bitten legs. It's all mine and no one can ever take that away from me!
But why is it that we have to go through so much to realize our worth? Or should I say be reminded of our worth. As little girls, some of us were blessed to have fathers, grandfathers, uncles, mothers, grandmothers or aunts who consistently told us how worthy we were. How did we lose sight of that? Why would we let someone, another human being, have that much power over us? Our journey's in life are all different, but the lessons are basically the same. God makes no mistakes. Every little hiccup in your life, every little blip, mishap, misfortune or tragedy has been divinely ordered. It is how you come through it that justifies the means. We all know the scripture, God will never give you more than you can bare. And that holds true for every situation in your life. But if you lay down and just let life happen and continue to allow stuff to be taken from you, then somebody is going to walk off with it and never return it.
Take your life back, take your joy back, your self confidence, self esteem and peace of mind. Go out and make life happen instead of waiting for it to happen for you. It's a new season, and it's a new day and I'm going to another level, won't you join me??
Get your PRETTY GIRL ROCK on...
Monday, October 25, 2010
If your WHY does not make you CRY….
As I embark on this new venture in life, one of the very first things asked is “what is my why”? Why do I want to do this? What is the driving force behind looking for something more? My family. Hushand, son, father, mother, brother and sister. Being able to provide without limitations. That includes time limitations as well as financial. Prior to marrying my husband in 2009 at the ripe age of 38, I had been a single mother for 12 years. During that time, we had our ups and our downs. In the beginning, when my son was younger, I was working a late shift, not able to pick him up some nights until 9:30. Over the years, there were a variety of circumstances that would not allow me to do things I wanted to do for him. Whether it involved being able to be there physically or being able to provide for him financially.
So here we are in 2010, a year and some change after marrying my wonderful husband and not much has changed as far as time or money. That has nothing to do with my husband not being able to provide. He does a very good job at that. But I am a healthy, capable woman who should be able to bring more to the table. Right? Right. Just because a woman gets married, does not mean she should look to her husband to supply all her needs and make her life some fairytale we see in the movies. Not. As a woman, I feel it is my duty to ensure that my household is running at its peak and beyond. A Proverbs 31 woman does not wait for her husband to bring home the bacon, she goes out and gets it herself and her husband AND God praises her. If God praises the woman who gets up early and stays up late to make sure her family is being provided for, then who am I to sit back and not do the same?
During my training, the one thing I can say is repeated over and over again is, if your why does not make you cry, it’s time to find a bigger why. I have cried so many nights over not being able to do the things I want and need to do. Some people may look at my life and say, I wish I DID have what she has. Even if I don’t have much, there is always someone worse off than me. This I know. But I serve a God who says, “I come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Not “just enough”. But MORE ABUNDANTLY. It was never God’s intention for us to just get by.
As you contemplate your why, does it make you want to walk over coals, does it make you want to get up early and stay up late, does it make you want to look at EVERY opportunity that crosses your path that could improve their life or yours? Does it make you want to CRY? Don’t cheat yourself or them out of discovering an answer to your questions. God opens many doors, and none of them are wrong. But you have to walk through one to get to the promise.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Haters, Skeptics, Cynics, Doubters - Let's Call a Spade a Spade...
We all have them. In one way, form or fashion, you encounter a cynic on a daily basis. By definition a cynic is: a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view. Just because your views are not the same as others, does not mean there is a need to discredit their beliefs. This is America. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave...RIGHT? Or is it? Are we really free to believe and practice those beliefs? Are we really brave enough to step out of formation and pursue those dreams?? For some, yes. For the majority, a resounding no.
Some are afraid to promote their beliefs or follow their dreams out of fear of being ostracized, black-listed, cast out, excluded or snubbed. So is that really being free? Or captive to the conformity of what is believed to be politically correct? What does being politically correct really mean? Ummmm, being socially acceptable. But why do we fight so hard to have freedom, only to revert back to what everyone else is doing anyway? And who was given authority to socially accept me? Huh, another blog another time...An African Proverb says: "There are two things which you have complete dominion, authority and control of your mind and your mouth". Start speaking for yourself and stop thinking for others.
I go to work at a job that brings me not an ounce of joy because that is what I was taught to do. Out of necessity of doing what is right and not what I want, I have embarked on several ventures, only to lay to the wayside because of cynics, haters, doubters and skeptics. My fault. Not theirs. Fear will get you no where. Fast. Listening to skeptics will get you no where even faster. What I call "safe players" believe is that conventional jobs give a sense of security. They guarantee you a good living. You got the benefits to prove it. Right. But what happens when they no longer need YOU? Do you have a plan B?
As I take a new journey in my life, I am reminded that this is not about me. It is about becoming the woman that I was put on this earth to be, to utilize my God-given talents and to maximize my abilities and provision for my husband and my son. Walking the path that was so divinely paved for me far outweighs what anyone thinks or believes about me, or what I choose to do.
So think about all the "spades" in your life. Are they worth giving up on your dreams? Are they signing your paycheck every month? What are they doing with their lives? Winners follow winners. Ducks follow ducks. And game follows game.
~Deuces~AJoy
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